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Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’


Photo by Flickr User KateWares.

Yesterday I was inspired to post the following expression of gratitude on my Facebook wall:

I am so grateful for my life: for every triumph,
for every crushing defeat, for every choice,
for every risk,
for every life-altering decision,
for every raw, devastating heartbreak,
for every betrayal, for every lesson learned.

I am grateful for every moment,
for each one has made me who I am today,
living this incredible life, so full of gratitude.

As we have just celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States, we were all reminded to pause and give thanks for the blessings in our lives. But as someone who has come to understand, firsthand, the sheer power of gratitude, I have learned that the practice of gratitude is really meant to be a daily one, not one that we simply do just one day a year.

A few years back I found myself at the darkest depths of my soul, living through the most painful, most challenging years of my life. I was at rock bottom and I had become merely a shell of the vibrant person that I had once been. Through a stroke of Grace, a new friend stepped into my life and introduced me to the Law of Attraction, to the idea that our thoughts do have power and that with those thoughts we can attract both positive and negative into our lives; and that whether we realize it or not, we are doing so unconsciously, on a daily basis.

As the clouds above my head were growing ever darker and more ominous, I decided that I would try anything to turn my life around. So in order to shift my thoughts to the positive, I began a daily practice of gratitude. Every single day I would write down a list of all of the positive things that had happened in that day, and all of the things for which I was grateful, however small. It didn’t matter how miserable I felt or how little I wanted to drag myself out of bed, I forced myself to write the list.

Photo by Flickr user wocado.

I did this every day for months on end, and as I did so, I was shocked by what began to happen. Little by little,  unexpected, positive things would appear in my life: the right people would show up, happy synchronicities would occur out of the blue, and slowly but surely the circumstances in my life began to change. The negative began to be replaced by the positive until after a few years of continued gratitude practice (complemented by a consistent yoga practice), I found myself living the most fully and vibrantly that I had ever lived in my life. This is where I sit now. I have become whole, I have fully embodied my spirit, and my inner light glows more purely and brightly than ever. I largely credit this to the practice of gratitude.

Unfortunately, it is a sad reality of the human condition that all to often we find ourselves feeling like victims: we blame others for the pain and betrayals inflicted upon us, we feel sorry for ourselves for the bad things that have happened to us, we find ourselves asking, “Why me?!” We say to ourselves, “If only “X,Y or Z” would happen, I could finally be happy.”

The problem is that every time we embody one of those feelings, we are giving away our own power. When we hold someone or some force outside of ourselves responsible for our happiness, we are giving that force power over us and we are ignoring the reality that we have the power to co-create happiness in our lives. The power resides in our thoughts and our feelings.

Photo by Flickr User exper.

If we look back on our lives with anger, bitterness and regret, we are sending negative energy out into the Universe, and that is exactly what we will attract back: more negativity. And then we head into a downward spiral. So instead of begrudging our past, we must look back and embrace every aspect of our journey: the good, the bad, and the ugly. We must look for the lesson in every experience, and if we look really hard, we may even find a silver lining, something beautiful that came out of a dark experience.

We must embrace the light and the shadow sides of life. We must be thankful for our challenging and painful experiences, for teaching us invaluable lessons, for giving us strength, and for delivering us to new places where we were meant to travel. We must look back and delight in how the dots connected, realizing that so much of it was for a reason.

So, yes, when I look back at my own life, I am grateful for every triumph for giving me courage and showing me that of which I was capable.

I am grateful for every crushing defeat for giving me the motivation and the fire in my belly to get back into the ring and keep on fighting.

I am grateful for every choice, no matter where it led, for each choice has taught me that there are no mistakes, just detours; and that often those detours proved to be for a beautiful and important reason.

I am grateful for having the bravery to take risks, to walk boldly in the face of fear, and to forge my own path, regardless of society’s “rules.” It is these risks that have allowed my life to expand beyond all wonder.

I am grateful for every life-altering decision I have had the courage to make, for these decisions have afforded me rich, breathtaking, and priceless experiences, and have allowed beautiful souls, from all over the world, to cross my path.

I am grateful for every raw, devastating heartbreak: I am grateful for the first for revealing to me my profound capacity for love. I am grateful for the second for allowing me to feel true soul connection and subsequently for breaking me, because it was that experience that set me free for future love and growth. And I am most grateful to the third for showing me the highest vibration of light and love I have ever known, and for shattering that which was already broken… for it was this experience that led me into the powerful fires of transformation.

I am grateful for every betrayal, for each one made me a stronger, more resilient person, and allowed me to better understand my own values and inner truth.

Photo by Flickr user Manue@PrettyKiku.

And lastly, I am grateful for every lesson learned, no matter how excruciating, no matter how much the wind was knocked out of me, for each lesson has allowed my soul to evolve into the conscious and awakened being that I am today. I am grateful for every single moment, from the breathtaking, life-altering ones, to the seemingly unimportant ones, for I understand that every moment is a precious step along the soul’s journey.

For all that has come before, for all that is now, and for all that will come, however unknown, I am and will always be grateful.

 ♥

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Flickr Photo by Amanda Nichols.

As my head lay heavy on the pillow, my eyes awoke to the morning sun. I rolled over to stretch and as I did so my ears were tickled with the sweet sound of the birds chirping happily outside my window. I consider myself very fortunate. I live in California and therefore am blessed to have flowers blooming and songbirds singing all year long. It is the first sound I hear each morning, and a sweet symphony that immediately puts a smile on my face. This day was no exception.

A few hours later, I had set out for my routine walk to yoga, up and through the beautiful park and down the hill to my favorite yoga studio. As I entered the park, the sun sparkling on the city below, I saw dogs happily racing around with their sticks and balls, babies being pushed in carriages, and the trees lightly waving “good day” to me in the light ocean breeze. Then I heard it and a smile immediately came across my face. Once again, I heard the song of birds…birds all around me, dancing atop the tree tops, delighting in one of the first days of spring, singing to one another, and perhaps to me.

Flickr Photo by Michael Newman.

In that moment I was immediately transported to another time and place. I suddenly found myself back on the swing-set of my childhood school playground, swinging back and forth and listening to the birds whistling their springtime song. As I listened to the playful sound of the birds, I watched the kids playing baseball on the baseball diamond, and other kids monkeying around on the jungle gym before me. It was in this moment that I realized just how much I revered springtime, even as a child.

I grew up in the northeast, in a climate where winter is often the longest season; a place where all of the vegetation withers and the trees are left naked and barren during a long, stark winter; a place from which many of the birds flee, in search of warmer weather to the south. Each spring I would anxiously look forward to the re-awakening of the Earth: to the re-sprouting of life from her skin, to the budding of leaves, to the return of color and fresh breezes, to the sound of lawn mowers and the smell of freshly-cut grass, to the buzzing of the bees… and to the return of the springtime chirping of the birds.

As I walked through the park with a smile on my face, I was immediately reminded of the youthful innocence that the birds represented for me; a simple, happy time in my life; a time when I had no care in the world, other than to listen to the birds sing. These are the great moments in life.

I have now lived in California for almost five years, and I have never since had to endure the starkness of winter and the quiet absence of the birds. For this I am grateful everyday. It seems as though from the time I was a child, swinging on that swing-set, that I was always destined to come to California, a place where the birds would always be singing their song. The birds have welcomed me with their beautiful songs from the day I crossed over California’s border, and they have remained with me since. But on this day, when I traveled back in time to that swing on the playground, I realized just how much I appreciate them.

It seems perfectly poignant that only a few months ago, my mother unearthed a childhood Haiku poem that I had written when I was just 10 years old. She sent it to me and I have to laugh when I read it now. It seems that my childhood self always knew the birds were special and that they would eventually lead me to this place, to this beautiful home where I am awakened each day by the sweet song of the birds.

I leave you with this poem, an ode to the birds from my 10-year old self:

A chirp from the sky,
I hear a little bird’s call,
like a playing harp.

Flickr Photo by Black Thumb.

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Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States, a day of giving thanks and expressing gratitude for all of the gifts in each of our lives. Thanksgiving as a cultural holiday is all about turkeys and stuffing, pumpkin pies, laughing with family, watching football, playing board games…so many different ways for families to come together and share their joy with one another. For many families it also involves saying Grace at the dinner table.

I remember as a kid being very uncomfortable with this concept. I didn’t come from a particularly religious family, so for me saying Grace was synonymous with praying. It was something that religious families did, something that for me involved that awkward and elusive word “God.” It was simply something that was not part of my vocabulary and it was definitely something that felt a bit too ritualistic for my taste.

I have now realized that while saying Grace is a practice performed by many different religions and spiritual traditions all over the world, at its core the concept really has nothing to do with the institution of religion itself. Grace is simply about the attitude of being grateful, expressing joy for all of the beautiful things in your life. It is not about wishing for more, but instead it is about being grateful for exactly what you have, whatever or however little that is. And I have also realized that it is far more than just a mere ritual of words. The act of saying Grace, the proactive and conscious practice of gratitude has much, much more power than one might possibly imagine.

The Gratitude Tree by Nick Wormell

Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, has spent his whole adult life centered in and sharing the practice of gratitude and gratefulness. He explains gratitude as having two inter-related branches: one is gratefulness and the other is thanksgiving. He describes gratefulness using the image of a bowl, as a representation of life. As one has the experience of feeling so appreciative, so full of gratitude, their bowl gets filled to the brim, just to the point where it is almost overflowing. You’ve all felt this sensation at some point in your lives: When you are so grateful for something that has occurred to you, perhaps the news that you landed the dream job, perhaps a dear friend or family member giving birth to a healthy baby. Whatever the situation may be, you are so elated and bubbling over with joy that you feel the sensation of the bowl filling up with happiness and gratefulness.

As you focus on these jubilant life situations and wonderful emotions, as you feel the overwhelming sense of gratitude and appreciation, the bowl gets so full that it begins to overflow into the second branch of gratitude: thanksgiving. As a result of feeling the ecstasy of the absolute fullness of life, you now begin to attract beautiful things back into your life. As your own gratefulness overflows, thanksgiving brings ever more bounty into your life. And as you begin to become aware of and consciously focus on your feelings of gratitude, you notice that as they get more powerful and more a regular part of your life, so too does the flow of abundance into your life.

This awesome power of gratitude has become ever more evident to me as I’ve studied more and more about the power of the mind, the power of our thoughts to impact our surroundings and our experiences, the power of our emotions to attract beauty into our lives. As I wrote about recently in my post “The REAL Secret,” our thoughts do have power, both for good and bad. And if we can allow ourselves to live with conscious awareness of what we are thinking and feeling, and if we can harness our thoughts to focus on the beauty, to feel absolute joy and gratitude for any and all of the positive elements in our lives (regardless of what other negative elements may exist), magic will happen. By focusing on that for which we are grateful, by practicing gratitude every single day, by seeking out the beauty and the positivity in every waking moment, we can create our very own cornucopia of abundance.

Looking back on my awkward childhood relationship with the concept of saying Grace, I now look back and nod with understanding. I now get it. I understand why people say Grace and I fully appreciate how powerful a practice it actually is. And while I am still not a religious person and probably will not be holding hands around the Thanksgiving dinner table to say Grace, I realize that I don’t have to. I hold gratitude in my own heart, in my own way, every moment of every day. And my cup (or bowl) runneth over…

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Me and my brothers in front of the Golden Gate Bridge

My very first introduction to San Francisco was at the tender age of six when my mother took me and my two brothers across the country on a 2-week train trip. I don’t remember much of San Francisco, except for this photo missing my two front teeth. That and the crookedest street in the world. It, like many experiences of my early years, faded into the recesses of my memory.

Some 20 years later I would be sitting in my office in Boston, daydreaming about moving to San Francisco with one of my best friends and colleagues. I’m not sure why we had it in our heads that San Francisco should be our destination; perhaps it was the fact that both of our older brothers had already moved there, perhaps it was the adventure of moving west towards a new frontier, perhaps it was the romanticism of a place we couldn’t fully imagine, some place new, different, exciting. Perhaps it was simply the fantasy of leaving everything behind and starting over, a new person in a new life.

San Francisco skyline

Despite our daydreams, life had other plans for both of us. She, my colleague and friend, ended up on her own adventures between New York City, Paris and Washington, DC. My own path led me to Washington, DC and then finally west, but to a different destination… Los Angeles. Though I had spent all of that time dreaming about San Francisco, circumstances had led me elsewhere, and San Francisco just didn’t appear to be in the cards. That is until 2009, when a series of events “inadvertently” led me right to the place of my previous daydreams… I had finally landed in San Francisco.

At first it was a love-hate relationship. My heart was stuck in Los Angeles, and that coupled with my love of the warm weather of Southern California, meant that I was pretty miserable and found every reason to complain about San Francisco. It was not living up to my dreams of all those years before.

But as it always does, time went by and things began to change. My heart-strings began to release their tight grip on Los Angeles and I began opening up more to the idea of San Francisco being home. Little by little I began to acclimate to the weather, I began to find a new community of friends, I began to plant roots. San Francisco was becoming home. As it did so, the beauty around me began to become more and more apparent. Every time I would walk to yoga, I would stand in awe of the spectacular view of the skyline that was simply the backdrop of my walk through Alamo Square. The succulent scent of California’s year-round flowers wafted into my nostrils everywhere I went. The breathtaking view of the Golden Gate Bridge would render me speechless each time I passed over it or caught a glimpse of it from atop a high vista point in the city. The stunning views of the San Francisco Bay, dotted with beautiful sailboats, would come into my eyesight during a routine walk or drive. On almost a daily basis I would find myself amazed by the staggering beauty around me and exclaiming to myself, “My God. How on earth do I live HERE?”

View of Golden Gate Bridge from Marin Headlands

As a writer dedicated to focusing on the positive and seeking out the joy of life, I strive every day to appreciate the beauty that is all around me and to not take it for granted. But like any human, even I have my moments when I lose sight of it. Tonight was one of those moments. As we just changed the clocks and it is suddenly getting dark much earlier than it was previously, I found myself disappointed by the loss of light in the day. As I was preparing to leave for yoga this evening, I posted this update to my Facebook page:

“Really not thrilled about it being DARK for my walk to yoga.”

Looking out the window I could see that it was dark and I was not looking forward to the walk in the cold, especially when I was so used to taking this lovely walk with the warm sun on my back.

I headed out the door and onto my usual route to yoga, which takes me through Alamo Square, home of The Painted Ladies. The minute I set foot into the park, I once again stood in awe. In the crisp fall air, the city was sparkling with absolute brilliance against the night sky, cradled by the glow of the bright moon above. I was immediately humbled and realized the error of my ways with my previous Facebook post. It was ironic that I was on my way to yoga. One of the themes that we frequently explore in yoga is the embracing of not only the light, but also the dark, the shadow side of life. As the seasons change and we move into a darker time, the yoga invites us to explore the darker side of ourselves, our experiences and our emotions. And it invites us to embrace both, to see the beauty in both, the opportunity for growth which comes from each. As I reflected on my dissatisfaction about the days turning into night, I realized that I was missing out on the opportunity to embrace both the light and the dark. And as I walked through Alamo Square and marveled at the beauty of the night scene around me, I felt nothing but wonder and gratitude.

San Francisco at night, from Alamo Square

I thought about the 6-year old me sitting in front of the Golden Gate Bridge with my brothers, completely unaware of the fact that this would one-day be my home. I thought about the 20-something me daydreaming with my friend about San Francisco, about how we would get there and what it would be like. And I thought about the current me who had evolved from a place of daydreaming, to ambivalence about a city, to embracing it as my home. And as I looked at the stunning skyline glittering beneath the light of the moon, I was overcome with emotion and I once again thought to myself, “My God. How do I live HERE?”

This post is dedicated to Jules, who has forever been my ally and friend
along this journey.

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Have you ever known the person who thinks that they have it worse than everyone else? No matter what tragedies may have befallen your own life, their situation is somehow always more tragic. Whenever you talk to them they have that dreadful “woe is me” tone that makes you roll your eyes and want to hang up the phone. And even when you try to be a good friend and offer words of encouragement they find ways to pooh-pooh anything you say. The person who seems to pride themselves on spouting off nothing but negativity, that somehow if they can drag you into their negative web that they will feel better about themselves.

We’ve all known these people.  Heck, perhaps at one time or another we’ve even been that person. Come on people, let’s be honest. I know I’ve definitely been there at one dark time or another. I’m sure many of you have too.

Here’s the thing that those people (or we) do not realize. By allowing themselves (or ourselves) to wallow in their (or our) own angst and fester in their (or our) own negativity, they (or we) are actually poisoning themselves (or ourselves). Here’s why: our thoughts have power. Yes folks, you heard right and I can’t say it loudly enough. Our thoughts have power. Now many of you naysayers who have heard about the Law of Attraction and watched or read The Secret will now be rolling your eyes and think that this is new-agey horseshit. Allow me to clear some things up for you. I have studied the Law of Attraction for the past several years and I have seen proof positive of its validity in my own life: for both good and bad.

You know those days when you wake up and stub your toe and then the whole day spirals downhill from there? That is the simplest example of the Law of Attraction. You started with a negative thought and you focused your energy on it, and because of that you attracted more negative things into your life that day. You become like a magnet. I have seen my negative thoughts perpetuate more negativity and create drama in my life, and on the flip side I have seen how harnessing the positive thoughts can truly change your life in brilliant and magical ways.

Let me talk about The Secret for a second. While the underlying premise of this book and film resides in Universal truth, their portrayal of the Universal Law of Attraction is actually a bit too literal and oversimplified. The Law of Attraction does not mean that you can focus all of your attention on a new bike and then “poof” a new bike will appear. It does not even mean that you can focus on your dream job, and that if you put it on your vision board that you will one day manifest it. That is a false and very misleading teaching. Here’s why: All the Law of Attraction truly states is that like attracts like, meaning that if you focus on the negative, you will attract more negativity into your life; and alternatively if you focus on the positive, you will attract more positivity into your life. It does not allow you to focus on one specific thing that you really want and then allow that thing to come to you, all wrapped up in a pretty bow. No siree!

And the reason is because that thing which you may be trying to manifest may in fact not be meant for you. You may be trying to manifest the return of an old lover. But if there is another lover in your future that you are meant to find, that is a better fit for you, the Universe is never going to allow the return of the old lover. The same is true of the dream job. I use my own life for this example. I was trying to manifest success in the .com world, but instead the Universe pulled one of its famous tricks on me and got me fired and now on the path to being a writer. We often do not know what is best for us, therefore the Law of Attraction is not as simple as we focus on something that we really want and then we get it.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get back to the main point, that our thoughts do have power. You don’t just have to believe me and my experiences about the power of thought. In this age when we as human beings are starting to become more aware of our consciousness and its power, quantum physics is no longer an occult subject for the airy-fairy hippies.  It has now moved to the forefront of major research institutions like Stanford, Harvard and Princeton. There have been loads of scientific studies performed about the power of the mind. As Lynne McTaggart points out in her book The Intention Experiment, the most comprehensive body of research has been amassed by William Braud, a psychologist and the research director of the Mind Science Foundation in San Antonio, Texas, and later, the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology.

If you wish to learn more about the science of the mind, I recommend Lynne’s book as well as works published by the scientists on her team. In recent years I have also seen a plethora of articles published in major scientific journals about the power of meditation to actually change the chemistry of the brain. It is no longer just a fanciful theory. Modern science has finally caught up to the ideas that ancient mystics, scientists and philosophers have known for centuries: our thoughts do have power.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make our world.”
~Buddha~

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”
~Marcus Aurelius~

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings
can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”
~William James~

“Outer changes always begin with an inner change of attitude.”
~Albert Einstein~

Ok, so if it’s true that our thoughts can change our lives, how then do we implement that? I’ve discovered that the reason why so many people discount the teachings of The Secret is because they think “if it were that easy, everyone would be doing it.” We all know that when we are stuck in that dark and negative place, it can be extremely difficult to change our thoughts to something positive. It is our human nature that when we feel miserable and defeated, that just like the person I mentioned in the beginning, all too often we feel that nothing could ever improve our situation. We dwell on the negative. And in that situation the Law of Attraction IS actually working, but it is working on the negative side and against your favor. You are a magnet for more negativity to come into your life. To get it to work IN your favor, you have to change your thoughts. It is not an easy thing to do, but it is wrong to believe that it does not work. It takes a truly committed Spiritual Warrior to force themselves to change their thoughts, even when they are at their darkest.

There’s the old saying “fake it ’till you make it.” This couldn’t be more true when it comes to changing your thoughts. I’ve learned that even if you are feeling down in the dumps, if you can force yourself to focus on the positive, you can change your life. This is exactly what I have done in my own life. Because I have had such radically life-altering success by practicing the Law of Attraction and by choosing to focus on the positive, I want to share with you exactly how I did it.

Many of you who have read my prior pieces know that I have lived through what I can only aptly describe as a “dark night of the  soul” in recent years. There were many times when I did not want to get out of bed, when I felt completely alone, abandoned and unloved, when I felt that things couldn’t get any darker. I had reached my rock bottom. It was during that time that I began to study and practice the Law of Attraction, really as an act of desperation. I took a course about the Law of Attraction and I learned about the concept of a Gratitude Journal, a concept with which I’m sure many of you are familiar. By writing down that for which we are grateful, we are focusing our thoughts, our energies on the positive. I took this lesson one step further.

Every night before I would go to bed, I would make two lists: 1. First I would make a list of ALL of the good things that happened that day, no matter how small, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Even if it was something as small as the store clerk smiled at me, I wrote it down. I searched through my memory banks trying to find any possible positive thing that occurred in that day, and I wrote them all down. 2. Secondly, I would make a list of all that I was grateful for in that day. Some things would remain constant, others would change from day to day. But by writing these two lists, everyday, by actually writing down the words, I was giving them more power and energy. By forcing myself to focus on the positive, even though I felt deep sadness, I was beginning to shift my energetic vibration, and the energy in my life began to shift. I began to attract more positivity and magic into my life. As I forced myself to do these exercises everyday for months on end, I began to notice that more and more unexpected and beautiful things began flowing into my life. And the positive energy compounded upon itself. The longer I did it, the more powerful the energy became, and the more magical synchronicity came into my life.

I have shared these exercises with each beautiful soul that has reached out to me from a place of darkness asking for help. And one person after the next has told me that by doing these simple exercises, they too have started to see positive shifts in their lives. I am never surprised by this of course, because I know for myself that it truly works. So what’s the REAL Secret then? It is not simply to focus on a specific, tangible thing that you want in your life. It is instead to focus on every positive, beautiful thing that occurs in your day, to force yourself to change your negative thoughts instead to positive ones. It is to view the glass as half full, always. The REAL Secret is to continue focusing on the positive and then to simply allow, to be open to whatever beauty may come, and not pigeon-hole yourself into a specific outcome. If you do this, every day, if you truly make a conscious effort to look for the good in each day, to write it down and focus on it, I promise you that you too will change your life for the better.

For great resources on how to practice the Law of Attraction, I can recommend the following books, in addition to Lynne McTaggert’s book mentioned above: The Power of Intention, by Wayne Dyer and The Law of Attraction, by Esther & Jerry Hicks.

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Today I am faced with perhaps the most profound opportunity for growth that this life has yet afforded me. Today is the day that the man I have loved and trusted beyond all others, will marry another woman, the woman with whom he replaced me…instantly. Am I ok with this? This is an interesting question. I have been dreading this day for years, and while I was certain the answer to that question would have been a resounding “NO!”, I am pleasantly surprised and pleased to report that the actual answer is “I do not care.”

It is true that this man misled me, that he lied to me, and that he betrayed every promise he ever made to me. It is true that this man broke me, in the most profound sense of the word. And yet as I write this I am reminded that just the other day a dear friend of mine was telling me about a poem that she had written called “Broken Open,” a poem that described how we need to be broken open, so that we can more fully experience love and life. There is so much truth in that.

I am further reminded of the Tower card in Tarot. This is a card that on the surface is of utter destruction, of ruin, of falling down. The card itself depicts the collapse of a castle tower, falling into burning flames. And while this card is often feared and dreaded, it is actually a powerful card of transformation.  Although there are various interpretations, the central theme of what the Tower card actually represents is one’s life deconstructing itself, the falling away of that which doesn’t serve one. It represents the burning down to one’s core, and by that burning down to nothing but rubble, which equates to our true essence, that essence is then purified by the fire, allowing one to begin anew and rebuild one’s life, from a clean slate. And so I realize that my being broken by this man was part of a greater process, a process of removing the misaligned parts of my life. This was an experience, as painful and life-altering as it was, through which I needed to walk.

In 2008, while in the depths of my grief, I was in Sedona, Arizona, desperately seeking healing for this profound wound. I met with a healer there who said something to me that I will never forget. He told me that I had the cards of a “healer,” but that they were cards he seldom saw in someone of my young age, and rather were cards more typical of an 80-year old woman. He said to me, “Jeannie you have already lived through a lot in your life. This is for a reason. You are the wounded healer being healed. You are meant to walk through your own healing so that you may help others with theirs.” Chills came over me as he spoke those words, as nothing had ever rung so true for me. I knew I was on the path of the healer.

Now, three years later and after years of painstaking self-reflection, arduous emotional work and profound personal growth, my intuition and my higher guidance have guided me to become a writer, to share my stories from the heart in the hopes that they might help others. As I receive hundreds of emails and messages, from people of all ages, all over the world, telling me that my writing has brought them healing, I am humbled beyond any words. I am moved to my core knowing that I am on my destiny path, that I have been called to fulfill a higher purpose to help people.

And while what I went through with this man did break me to my core, while it ripped through me on a cellular level, I know that I can only owe him a debt of gratitude; for various reasons. If it were not for him, I would not have moved across the country to California, which is my true home; I would not have discovered Anusara yoga, which has changed my life; but the third reason why I owe him a debt of gratitude is the most meaningful: If his actions had not broken me to my core, I would not have lived through my “dark night of the soul,” I would not have had a powerful spiritual awakening and I would not be writing to you right now, from the seat of my destiny…

This post is dedicated to all of the beautiful souls who are suffering from broken hearts. May you embrace the pain, walk through it, and allow it to transform you.

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Earlier this week I learned the very unpleasant tidbit of information that a former colleague of mine had betrayed my trust, and that this had in turn contributed to my losing my job. Was I livid? You better believe it. Did I want to immediately lash out and confront this person? Affirmative. I have always prided myself on being someone that doesn’t take crap from anyone, someone who is able to stand up for herself and fight back. “Nobody better mess with Jeannie Page!” had been a life-long credo…

Thankfully I had been on my way to yoga class when I got this news. Furious from the news, feeling absolutely betrayed by someone I had trusted, and completely keyed up as a result, I knew that I had to calm myself and meditate on the issue. Once on the mat, I began to breathe deeply. As I moved through the poses I focused deeply on the issue at hand. What was the right response? Would I email this person, tell them that I knew what they had done, and essentially tell them off? Here it was 4 months later since I’d lost my job. Would there be any point to confronting this person? Would it help me in any way?

Well, my main purpose with starting this blog was to write about life’s challenges, with the intention of approaching them from a more enlightened space. I immediately recognized that I was faced with an opportunity to do just that. I’ve been practicing yoga and meditation long enough to know all too well about the human ego. I knew immediately that my response of anger, my desire to retaliate, was an entirely natural human response… but that it was in fact a response of the ego. My ego had been wronged and my ego wanted revenge. But what would that accomplish? It really didn’t matter WHAT or WHOM had contributed to me losing my job. The fact of the matter was that I had already lost the job and there was no turning back.

I knew there was only one right answer, one enlightened answer. The answer was to do nothing, to say nothing, and to simply rise above it. Now this certainly would leave my ego feeling entirely unsatisfied, but I recognized that the way to truly have strength in this situation was to walk away from it and move beyond it. I had to be stronger than my ego. But beyond that, I also recognized that I had an opportunity to take this to a place of even higher vibration: a place of gratitude. You see, I actually owe this person a “thank you”, for they have helped to liberate me from the chains of corporate oppression and to release me from a very unhealthy situation. They have allowed me to make a much-needed shift in my life and to align with my true path, a path of higher awareness, conscious creation and {hopefully!} inspirational writing.

So, how am I going to react? I am simply sending thoughts of gratitude.

And I say to you, that if you find yourself in my position, and having been betrayed or frankly screwed over by someone…stop and think for a minute. Find the silver lining in the situation, look for the good that has come from it (or that WILL come from it!), and instead of seeking revenge, send them thoughts of gratitude.

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